Thursday, April 3, 2008

Paul J and his cohort, Jeff " Arabacus" Caves are out

updated as of 7:17pm...... "I feel bizarre right now".....let me tell the general public, I usually don't have any bizarre feelings like I did during some college late night adventures, but bizarre is a word only Paul J can come up with to describe his feelings

...not of the closet but out of a job ( as of right now) when it comes to broadcasting Boise State Football over the outdated radio waves.

That gushing sound is the collective groan emitting out of the Treasure Valley ( and the rest of Bronco Nation).

Who are our next options? What talent will Peak Broadcasting farm out to produce audio orgasms, when describing what the action in the house that Lyle Smith built? The audio orgasms was a lil strong but you get the gist.

With great sadness, I report this info.......but still hold out hope that the Citadel contract that has it's clutches into Paul J will soon subside and let Paul J be free to ......move over to KIDO 580am and attempt to his best phoenix rising impression, resurrect his own broadcasting career ( not to mention his delivery and voice, which we will surely miss).

What does 35 yrs of tradition get you these days? A swift kick in the nuts....

Memo to BSU Athletic Department, who ironically has had the golden touch on everything else they have done in recent years ( outside limiting public and bloggers access to the football team), this truly what you want to do. Set Paul J out to pasture with the rest of horses, where the best announcers graze and try to downplay their rooting/homerisms.

In protest, I suggest waving the now infamous blue towel in a show of support for Paul J, at the spring scrimmage #2.

Statue Left Is Actually An Ancient Japanese Secret

Today's local paper actually leaked* the secret orgin of an unbelievable and perfectly executed trick play ( which might be best known for being the death nail in the Sooners coffin in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl). What you will read next is the off the record, non translated items that were recently discovered out back of the local sushi joint. Espionage/hilarity ensues......

The article reveals and improperly did not mention, that while interviewing a recent visiting "foreign exchange student", it has been discovered the actual translation of Statue Left must have been mixed up in the post 2007 Fiesta Bowl game excitement. Local legend has it that Sensei NickLomax offered a mere innocent suggestion when discussing the Statue of Liberty. Rather than pump fake the ball with your throwing hand, Sensei Lomax suggested :
1-that the QB tuck the pigskin behind his/her back with his/her non-throwing hand, drawing the unknowing defense to the right side of the field....

2-where a soon-to-be famous running back with his feigned boredom in the backfield, with his hands on hips, would take the ball at the last second and .....
3-continue running wide left behind the pancake blocks of a future first rounder end to the endzone.....

4-not to mention, the unconfirmed rumor of having the said running back/ ball carrying madman, throw the most famous ball in Boise State history into the stands towards one's own family....
5-quickly make diversive actions and not celebrate with your teammates ....
6-go over to a hot cheerleader and propose to her,
even while the nincompoop post game interviewer, Chris Meyers, attempts to ruin the proposal.

The rest, they say, is ancient Japanese History. But what has come since of Sensei Lomax?

Sensei Nick Lomax a.k.a 4th Stringer, refuses comment and has denied all allegations and quite possibly might go into hiding after tomorrow's second spring scrimmage ( rumor has it, his AWOL status has nothing to do with this local paper's diatribe, but rather pertains to his flag-waving 3rd string clipboard-carrier status).

I just hope he does not obtain a passport and a plane ticket to the Far East.

While the coaching staff continues to get credit for calling the play,

players continue to receive accolades/ladies for the execution,

the university collects more and more merchandise royalties,
star running backs continues to be hounded,

Sooners Coach still pouts about "trick plays"....what happens to Sensei Lomax or the "visiting foreign exchange student"? What does the future hold for these publicity deprived individuals? Where is the paparazzi for Sensei Lomax and "visiting foreign exchange student"? Where is the love, people?
* Expect the local security/gestapo to cut off access to the practices for of those who look like "foreign exchange students. My next question would have been, " Where do I sign up for Hosei University? " If that is what it takes for access to BSU practices, I am all in. Especialy following this quote:

"It's awesome that they're into football," Petersen said, "so whatever we can do to help them, we're more than happy to do that. It'll be real interesting to see how these next two weeks go and see what they get."

This article brought to, in all jest and please don't get your panties in a bunch, by

translation = Buck Rogers, since my English to Japanese translator website does not compute STATUELEFT

Off to the Dojo!